


Speak Up

by tgxiic (Gh0stPr1nc3)



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5740441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gh0stPr1nc3/pseuds/tgxiic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last time Gavin Free talked was when he didn't hate himself, and in retrospect, that had been quite a long time by now. Everything just keeps going to hell even when he thought it couldn't get any worse. Then five new guys come into his life when he regretfully moves to Texas, and one of them especially tries to win him over as well as getting him to speak up.</p><p> </p><p>[Warning: some parts may be triggering but will be tagged accordingly to the chapter in case you wish to avoid it]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arcane_Silence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcane_Silence/gifts).



> First time writing a AH/RT fic, so please bare with me if I'm not too great at this.
> 
> WARNING: Character Death (not the main character's, don't worry).

**Gavin's POV**

"Gavin, sweetheart, why won't you talk to us anymore?" My mother cries into my dads shoulder, his arms wrapping around her as an attempt of comfort.

"Son, it's been forever since you've last talked to us. The last time any of us has heard your voice is- I can't bloody remember how long it's been since you've last talked to us!" My dad raises his voice slightly in upset. "We're worried about you, Gavin... Please, say something."

Why would they be worried? their fifteen year old son isn't able to annoy them now with his teenage bullshit. They should be happy I'm not talking ever again.

My mum and dad had made several attempts to get me to speak. Hell, they'd even talked to my friend Dan and had him beg me to talk. But every single attempt they made was futile, and it always would be.

~~~

"Gavin! Breakfast!" I heard my mother call from downstairs, effectively waking me up from my light slumber and making me get out of bed to dress, brush my hair and teeth, and then going downstairs with my school bag along with my notepad and pen.

I shook my head 'no'.

"No breakfast, hon?"

"No thanks. Love you <3" I scribble down onto the notepad in my hands and show it to her. With a smile and shake of her head in understanding, I kiss her on the cheek and slide out the door to walk to the curb where I wait for the bus to come and once again make it to the hell hole known as school.

To anyone, I was just a normal teenage kid that went to this school, had no problems, and just plain out thought I didn't talk to anyone because 'I'm too good for everyone.' But inside, I was broken. Broken and lost and I don't really know what to do anymore but I'm hanging on. To what? I'm not exactly sure at the moment.

I have my friend, Dan, and my mum and dad, but to be completely honest, I feel like Dan is the only one keeping me alive at this point. Yeah, I know, it sounds selfish but it's true. Sadly.

Dan has always been there for me, ever since the incident that happened back in fourth grade. No one talks about that day. Not me, not Dan, not mine or his parents- not anyone. None of them talk about it. 1) because I practically begged them not to & 2) because they feared I would go into another anxiety or panic attack.

I've suffered with severe depression and anxiety ever since that day.

It seemed like just the slightest thing nowadays could send me off into an attack. If someone even so much as looked at me or, heaven forbid, stared at me, I would immediately freeze. The only rational thoughts I would have in those moments is 'they know.'

Like they know how dirty, filthy, pathetic, unwanted and worthless I am. But that's just like me, jumping to stupid conclusions like that so fast, as if they could simply read my whole past just by looking into my eyes.

But I can't take any risks. So I don't get close to anybody. 'It's not like they'd want to anyways.'

My entire school knows about me not talking, they just ignore it. They pretend like it's not there; like I'm not there.

"G'morning, Gavin!" My friend Dan says cheerfully yet calmly as he walks up to me, his stuff for his first period class already in his arms.

After I gather my stuff as well, we walk to first period together, Dan taking his seat on the very far side, completely opposite of me in the front while I take my seat in the corner in the back row closest to the door. These are our assigned seats so I can't really complain.

"Gavin!" I hear Mr. Oak call out my name. I raise my hand and he nods before checking my name on his clipboard and continuing down on the list and call of names for attendance.

Between me and the staff of the entire high school, we've been through enough to know that I won't be exactly talking for... Quite a while. So they've given up all hope. 'Much like everyone else has.' No one really even tries anymore to be honest. I'm just a lost cause to be simply put.

The usual chatter of the classroom arises as the teacher leaves the room to do whatever they so please so long as they stay their seats. But it's not like he'd notice anyways, y'know, being gone and all.

Everyone's either talking about what they did over their weekends, the latest and upcoming football games, the most recent gossip, and so on and so forth. Which leaves me to myself, ignored; forgotten.

The chatter quiets down slight as one if the ladies from the office enters the room, leaning over to the teacher to tell him something. I keep my head down, figuring it's nothing important or involves me.

Then Mr. Oak points at me, her eyes focusing on me with a sad smile as she calls my name, motioning for me to follow her outside the room.

I reluctantly grab my things, glancing at Dan and I see him giving be a questioning look to which I just shrug my shoulders and continue to follow the lady into the office. The principal, obviously sitting in his chair, has a grim expression on his face, eyes dark as he begins to explain why me why I was needed. But my hearing just sort of tunes out everything except a few words that rush and scream in my head.

_"-Mom and Dad."_

_"-house on fire."_

_"- didn't make it out in time."_

"We're terribly sorry for your loss. If you need anyone, our counselors are always here for you."

Dead. My parents can't be dead, they aren't! They'd be smart enough to get out before it got too serious.

Without thinking, I drop my things in the floor and bolt up, running out of the office, school doors, and then in the direction of where my house is. It isn't too far away thank goodness.

'Just a joke, it's just a joke, all in my head, I'm okay; they're okay,' I try to think positively, but immediately fail when I stand in front of my house, feeling my heart dropping into my stomach and the welled up tears I had been fighting to not let go finally fall.

My house is still standing, undoubtedly always will with how sturdy it is, but I can still see firemen trying to put out the fires that are stillaflame from the fromt door and every single window; smoke billowing up into the clear blue sky.

Now, as stupid as I am, I run into the burning house, the door finally falling off its hinges and onto the ash covered floor. Men yell, calling out for me to stay out and come back outside. But I don't care, dammit, these are my parents we're talking about and I'll be damned if I don't see them myself.

A man grabs me by the arm, yanking me back but just before he turns me around, I catch a glimpse of my parents bodies, or what remains left of them, up in flames.

One of the men, the chief I assume, puts a hand on my shoulder, trying to talk to me, but I can't understand what he's saying right now, it's just a jumble and blur of words through my muddled brain.

"MOM! DAD! _NO_!" I shriek, voice cracking from not using it in so long, and start thrashing against the man, trying to get out of his reach until I'm weak and unable to fight the arms pulling me back and away from the slowly collapsing house I had just left an hour ago in perfect condition.

Without realizing, Dan has his arms wrapped around me tightly, making me face away from my house as it goes inward, making horrible creaking and crashing noises. I let out an embarrassing whimper and hide my face further into Dan's chest, probably soaking the front of his shirt in tears but he doesn't seem to mind as he just holds me, not daring to say a word because there's nothing anyone can say; words are far from helping anything.

After what seems like forever, which is really only an hour, all of my neighbors that had gathered started to go back into their houses, the firemen had finally left, having quailed the fires and only leaving the the quietly sizzling ashes.

"Come on, Gav... Let's get you cleaned up. You can stay with me for a while, yeah?" Dan suggests, letting me go from his tight embrace in favor of leading me to his car when I nod an okay.

Honestly, I don't think anything could get any worse than this.


	2. Chapter 2

Geoff's POV

I rolled my eyes as I passed by another couple making out by the lockers. That was the third time I've passed two love birds having at it. What were they, zombies? You do need to breath, that's a human necessity the last time I checked.

The office had called me down in the middle of my only free period, to escort a new kid like always. Why would you go to a new school towards the end of the school year though? Person's family must be stupid as dicks.

"Hey, watch i- oh, 's just you."

"Just me? Fuck you, man. Respect your superiors," Michael crosses his arms over his puffed out chest.

"Superior? I'm two years older than you, you dick," I retorted, smirking at the scowl on the sophomore's face. "Don't give me that look. Now, go back to study hall instead of pestering Ryan and Jack."

"Geez, sorry, dad." Michael drawled, groaning before heading back down the hall.

"And no hiding behind the wall until I leave," I add as I make my way down toward the office.

"God dammit!" I hear Michael whisper shout, making me laugh quietly to myself before opening the door and accidentally bumping into someone.  
The smaller person lets out a terrified sounding squawk, nearly falling back flat on his ass before I grab him by the waist and tug him back up to his feet, making sure he's steady on them before smiling awkward.

"Sorry 'bout that. You the new kid?" I ask, glancing up at Mrs. Coleman for confirmation, getting a nod from the both of them.

"Geoffery- this is Gavin Free. He's just moved here a week ago from London. Would you please be a dear and show him around?" I nod even though it's more of a demand than a request.  
I hold the door open for the sandy blonde haired boy, starting to walk down the hallway with him until we stop at what I assume is his locker. As he starts to put in the few things he has with him inside the bottom of his locker, he looks at his schedule and gathers the things he'll need for the class period before he looks back at me.  
It's then that I realize, as he follows me while I explain what each room is, that he hasn't talked at all.

"You not much of a talker?"  
He says nothing, just gives a shake of the head 'no' and continues to stare down at his feet while we walk, glancing up every once in a while when you point to a room and explain what it's for, which teacher it is, etc. I don't mind, maybe it's just a personal thing, I can deal with it.

"So, do you do sign language or?" I ask, at least wanting some way of talking to him.  
I watch as he glances at the notebook in his hands but instead pulls out his phone, tapping on the notes app and starting to type, then hands the phone for me to read.

"I speak through my writing, didn't exactly care much for sign language. I'm sorry I'm such a bother to you, I can just find my way around if you want." He had typed, making me frown, hand back his phone and open my mouth to respond.

"Hey, Geoff!" A loud, obnoxious sounding voice calls out. Ray. I here him run up, not expecting him to jump on my back as I nearly fall over with him on top of me.

"Fuck off, Ray, I'm busy," I try to get back to talking with Gavin, but to no avail as Ray refuses to let go of me.

"But, Geoff! You said we we're gonna skip seventh period together and go hang out with the rest of the guys! You seriously aren't going to pass up a kid for videogames, are you dude?"

"First of all, I'm sorry, maybe next time; this is important. Second of all, this 'kid' is your age so..."

"Ugh, Fine, Michael and Ry'll be pissed though. See ya later!" Ray shouts as he starts to go to the Media Center where the rest of the boys are.  
I know I had promised them I'd skip today, but this kid seemed too hard to just ditch and leave him out on his ass. Besides, Texas was, without a doubt, entirely different from whatever school in England he went to before now. This school was probably a lot more violent as well. At least, the kids weren't exactly nice.  
Gavin hands his phone over again: "I'm sorry if I made you miss out on your videogame thing or whatever." I read and shake my head, smiling slightly.

"You apologize too much, man. It's fine, they'll get over it," I say with a bit of a laugh at the thought of hell Michael would give me later. "Would rather you not get killed on your first day anyways."

For the rest of the day, which is really only the last hour of the the two periods, we walk around the school, introducing Gavin to some of the teachers and giving him a tour of the school. Time flies by, I realize, as the end of the day bell rings throughout the   
hallway.

"Welp, that's about it. I'll leave you to it-"

"Geoff!" I hear Michael shouting again. Christ, they can't they live without me for a second.

"Oh, and if you need anything else," I asked for his phone and typed in my number into his contacts. "Message me."

"Geoff, god dammit, hurry the fuck up, you aren't gonna be late again!" Michael yells at me again.

"See ya later, dude!"

~~~

Gavin's POV

I watched as Geoff walked away with another group of guys, leaving to myself once again.

As I walked out of the building, reality hit me once again.

I hadn't thought my parents would leave me so much in their will seeing as they probably didn't think that their fifteen going on sixteen year old son would be left all alone with barely any money. Who would have thought that could happen to their kid so young? Nevertheless, they had left me an apartment in Texas, the place I hadn't wanted to visit ever since I was a kid, and 30,000 pounds in American money (which is around $43,000), for whatever reason. Maybe they thought I would put it into whatever college I went to or something, but right now, that didn't seem like the best idea. I would probably need that money now than then anyways.

Thank god that no one had said anything about a sixteen year old living in an apartment he wasn't supposed to until he was eighteen. Although I'm sure they would catch on soon, all I could do was hope they didn't catch on for another year. Or two.

~~~

I woke up to my phone buzzing like mad, groaning at the pain shooting up my neck from the uncomfortable position I had been lying in on my couch.  
Why would I be laying down here when I had a bed? Yeah, I don't have an answer for that except I was too busy watching YouTube videos on my laptop to get up and go to my bed and just fell asleep I guess.

Groaning, I reached for my phone, seeing that I had various messages from Dan and two from Geoff.

I rubbed my eyes groggily, wiping the sleep out of them before reading the texts.

Dan: "Hey Gavin, sorry I was such a dick at the airport the other week, just hate to see you go"  
"I'm sorry if I made you upset, text me"  
"Gaviiiiiiiiin"  
"Gav you're starting to worry me, you okay?"

&

"Come on, at least let me know you're okay".

I quickly reply to his text with the ever so annoying text with "I'm okay" and then go to Geoff's messages.

Geoff: "Yo Gavin, wanna come over to my place and play some games? Rest of the crew wants to meet you"

Crew? Is that what they called themselves? At first, I'd jump at the offer, excited to meet a few more people around here so I wasn't completely alone and lost. But then I remember that they would probably grow annoyed of my talking problem anyways. Or lack of anyways.

Me: "I'm not sure. Wouldn't they want me to talk? Like any other normal person?"  
Geoff: "Um, p sure we aren't normal either soo"  
"I'm kidding"  
"Sort of :)"  
"Do you want me to come up with something? They'll just go with it knowing the idiots they are anyways"

Me: "Okay, but two problems"  
"1) I don't have a ride and 2) Idk where in the bloody hell you live"

Geoff: "I'll pick you up. Your address?"

So, with only little hesitation, I send him my address, hope he's not some rapist or murderer, and go into my bathroom to get ready. And with a forced smile on my face, I chant the sentence I have in my head for countless years now:

"Don't speak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors, just tell me and I'll fix them! Thanks for reading :) xx
> 
> —Max


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna be honest, this chapter sucks ass, and I'm sorry 

~Later at Geoff's house~

"Oh my god, he's laughing!" Michael mock awed, though he did look initially surprised at the fact.

I rolled my eyes, still smiling lightly and shaking my head at his nonsense. 

What I had learned about the 'crew' while I was here for the few hours of playing video games?

To start off, Michael is a lot sweeter than he makes himself out to be. I can already tell he's the caring an loving type. And loud, very loud. Oh! And he cusses like a sailor whether he's raging or not, but sweet other than that.

Geoff is the irresponsible dad of the group that you really can't get passed him with anything.

Jack is most definitely the sweetest, next to Michael of course, and the mom. 'Geoff and Jack... that'd be an interesting couple.'

Ryan is sort of... scary. He's funny and all, but scary after what all of you had witnessed while the six of you had played Minecraft. He also trapped a cow in a fucking hole. He's scary okay.

And lastly Ray, who is like the annoying brother I don't think I could do without.

To sum them all up? Nerds. Definitely nerds, no matter how badass they act and look at school.

I immediately cover my mouth to stifle my laughter as Michael points it out, the rare noise sounding more muffled now as Ray launches himself at Ryan, playful anger fueling him to pin the older down and yell at him for kicking his ass in a round of GTAV for the fifth time this evening.

A few hours later and most of the guys were heading home, either realizing they had missed a thousand calls from their mothers and afraid for their lives if they didn't get home right away or just needed to do their last minute assignments due first thing tomorrow.

That left me, Michael, and Geoff to playa few more arounds and me listening in on Michael and Geoff talking, occasionally snickering here and there. They weren't exactly the real kind of laughs I was used to, these ones were more forced in fear of them loosing whatever interest they had in me whatsoever. So, a few fake laughs and smiles and I was basically hooked for now. 'Until they get tired of it and want more.'

"So," I hear Michael's voice break over my thoughts, "What's up with the no talking thing again?" He inquires, and I can't be mad, a smile tugging on my lips when Geoff elbows him, a clear statement to tell him to shut up. He sounds generally curious to know.

I bite on my bottom lip, thinking if I should tell them or not. Should I trust them when I've barely even known them for a full day? Oh well, way to know if they're good friends. 'They wouldn't leave or judge me if they were good friends.'

Sighing, I fish out my notebook and pen, quickly scribbling something down. 

'I don't feel comfortable with telling you everything, especially seeing as I've only just met you both today. So, I won't exactly tell you everything. I've only told one and that's my good friend back at home. But I don't think I'll be telling anyone here any time soon. Overall, I suffered from a terrible event, which is what I will not tell you about, caused me to just stop talking. On my own accord, yes. But it's also made me suffer with severe depression and anxiety as well. I honestly don't know why I'm even telling you this much. I doubt anyone would be around me after I've told them this. But just know, I haven't talked in seven years, and I'm sorry if I ever get either your hopes up that one day I'll talk, because I honestly don't think I will.' I scribble all of what I want to say to them down on the piece of paper, handing it to Geoff first and breaking my gaze away from him when he frowns as he reads on. He seems to frown the entire time as he hands it to Michael next who reads it quicker than the other and has the exact same expression; a frown.

'Fuck, I screwed up,' I think to myself as they both look at each other, shoving my face into my hands and resisting the urge to bolt out of the house now and go to my own to avoid the looks from them like I've gone mental; save myself from the embarrassment.

"Hey, dude, it's alright- well, it's not, but- you know what I mean," He places a hand on my shoulder, making me realize that I'm shaking. Why am I so worried? Because Geoff and Michael could call me a freakish weirdo and show the entire school what I had wrote down meant only for their eyes. But they didn't, and I was immediately relieved.

Maybe I could trust these two. Not like how I trust Dan, but maybe I could one day depending on how well they could keep this small secret.

I grab my notebook, scribbling down something else;

"You don't think I'm just weak?"

"Never." Michael says in a definite tone, smiling slightly at me.

And yeah, maybe it's okay to have a few friends this time. Maybe they aren't too bad like I make everyone out to be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the long wait! But here's another update since I've waited so fucking long to write such an out of place chapter after so long.
> 
> You can find me at http://www.tgxic.tumblr.com

**Gavin's POV**

Geoff had driven me home just a while ago, luckily not asking to come in and expect to see my parents and just dropped me off with a 'see you tomorrow!' and made sure I made it inside before he drove off.

Now, as I lay down in my bed, I run a hand over my face, sighing loudly as I reminisce over today's events and what I had told Geoff and Michael earlier tonight.

I seriously cannot believe I told those two boys that I have depression let alone anxiety. I barely know them! I don't even know their last names! I don't know if I can trust them yet. What if they're popular and they tell others?

Then I'll start getting bullied at this school too. I'll just be the freak that never speaks. They might do to me what he did.

_'No, don't think like that! You're thinking negative thoughts again!'_

_You're so stupid._

_'No, I'm not.'_

_Of course you are._

_'I'm not!'_

_Yes, you are Gavin. Can't you see how pathetic, vile, worthless, annoying, stupid, ugly-_

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to quail the feeling of the nausea resting low in the pit of my stomach and my throat.

 _'No, no no, not again...'_ I take in deep and slower breaths, but fail at my attempt to hold down the feeling of ingurgitating my insides and hurry to my own little bathroom in my bedroom, kneeling over the toilet and letting the bile rise up and finally let out, clutching my stomach as it lurches almost painfully.

I always seem to work myself up like this. At my last school, the reoccurring thoughts often led to this- getting sick I mean.

_Hideous._

_'No, I'm not any of those things!'_

_Yes, you are, Gavin. Stop lying to yourself._

I feel more tears slowly slide down my face, landing on the porcelain sink my hands are bracing me on so I hopefully don't collapse from my shaking, weak knees.

After regaining my breathing, I run a cloth through cool water and ring it out before running it over my face to clean up the mess I've made of it and discard somewhere on the floor as I walk out and turn the lights off; flopping back into bed and ready to sleep the rest of my night away. Yet, I can't seem to exactly slip into the call of sleep no natter how long I stare at the blank celling above me or close my eyes which envelops me in complete darkness that I've grown to hate and fear so much over the past couple of weeks.

Sighing heavily, I shove the covers away and walk out of my bedroom in favor of the kitchen where the hidden liquor behind closed cabinets is.

Now, I'm sixteen, nearly seventeen, how could I have possibly gotten my hands on alcohol? Well, before I enrolled myself into that shitty excuse for a school, I unpacked what little thing I had managed to bring with me, and decided to roam the streets a little. I know, stupid of me, people could literally kill me and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. But, y'know, at the time I didn't exactly care, and I still kind of don't.

Along my walk, I cane across an alleyway that seemed to be blocked off (and piqued my interest of how many awful things could have happened in that one simple place). There were also a man there, hood brought down to where you could only see the tip of his nose and his mouth.

Now, any smart person would have probably ran like hell and avoided that person in fear of what they could get theirselves into, but, when did I ever make smart decisions?

The man was actually sort of nice, in a weird way I suppose, offering to give me all the alcohol I'd need if I could tale up a job for him. Of course, I'd agreed and gladly took the offer, to which he clapped me on the back and gave me instructions (and also gave me a bottle as thanks).

So, that's the story of how I now get my drinks. Annnd how I became a drug dealer. Oops.

I glance down at the shot I had poured myself before shoving it aside and just drinking straight from the bottle instead. A light burn flares in my throat, my thoughts slowly becoming increasingly jumbled the more I drink and the alcohol runs through my system.

This is the second time I've gotten drunk off my arse because I can't stand my own thoughts for so long, and I also pass out eventually and can get sleep before school, which is actually a plus I guess.

So, for the rest of the night, I down the rest of the bottle slipping into the bathroom and resting by the bathtub so I won't throw up in my bed in the morning because I can't make it in the bathroom in time, and pass out before I know it, not able to avoid the darkness the swallows me.

And when I wake up in the morning, I know the empty, glads bottle will be likely shattered from where I let go of it in my state of comatose and I'll be painfully reminded of tonights events. But I can't bring myself to care, because in these moments, I'm the happiest I've ever been; and that's all I could ever ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave comments and/or kudos if you liked it. Criticism is welcome and feel free to correct any errors in the comments if they really stand out. Thank you!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to shoot me, I forgive you instantly.
> 
> Any criticism is welcome!


End file.
